THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF POTOMAC — Season:1 — Pictured: (l-r) Charrisse Jackson Jordan, Robyn Dixon, Karen Huger, Gizelle Bryant, Katie Rost, Ashley Darby —(Photo by Tommy Garcia/Bravo)
Reality shows are my guilty obsessions, especially the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo. I don’t know what fairy dust Andy Cohen sprinkled on those shows, but I’m hooked and I can’t tell you why. Although reality shows aren’t what I would typically turn to for thought provoking discussions on race relations in America, if it becomes a topic of discussion then you better treat the issue with the critical thought it deserves. Otherwise, clichéd stereotypes and skin deep conversations on race, particularly blackness, will prevail. Enter the Real Housewives of Potomac (affectionately known on Black Twitter as the Real Mulattos of Potomac).
These etiquette-crazed, cooking in outdated kitchens, lukewarm Lipton Tea serving heffas nearly caused my eyeballs to get stuck to the top of my head due to their many cringe worthy arguments regarding what it means to be black in America, what it means to identify as black in America, and what physical features (eye roll) constitutes one as black. If I learned anything from Gizelle Bryant, Karen Huger (aka Evil Tina Knowles), Charisse Jackson Jordan, Katie Rost, Robyn Dixon, and Ashley Darby on season one of RHOP, its that errbody doesn’t need to talk about race. Furthermore, your socio-economic status does not automatically equip you with language and tools to adequately discuss topics such as race.
I’m not saying that everyone who talks about race needs to quote Kimberlé Crenshaw or hold a PhD in Sociology. But please refrain from trivializing and reducing the topic to a point where issues regarding the various ways in which racism manifests itself seems irrelevant and the black folks who dare to discuss the ongoing realities of racism are deemed obsessive and even racist (major eye roll).
Race was a topic of discussion throughout the first season of RHOP. It probably came up more times than I can count. So, I’ll just bring our attention to a few memorable instances in which the high class ladies of Potomac fumbled the topic. And since race was reduced to so many gross generalizations to the point where a real discussion on the two part reunion show was impossible, I’ll share what I think the ladies could have said instead when comments and questions about race were raised.
Number 1: “What box do your children check?”
Lord have mercy, Robyn. An educated career woman in her 30’s had the small-minded nerve to ask Katie, a bi-racial woman with three mixed race children, what box her children check on standardized tests when asked about their race and ethnicity. I wasn’t Katie’s biggest fan this season, but I can see why the question would offend her.
What Robyn should have said:
“Katie, I know your father is Caucasian and your mother is African American. I also know that the father of your three children is Caucasian. How do you feel about instances when your children are forced to check a box to identify themselves racially? How do you raise your children to appreciate all aspects of their racial makeup? Are they bullied at school or treated differently by family members due to their looks?
What Katie actually said last night’s reunion as the question was reintroduced:
“My kids don’t look black right now. But when they do, they’ll identify as black.” (James Harden side eye)
Number 2: “Black folks don’t swim!”
Guh. Bye. Just bye. Gizelle was not a fan favorite amongst many in the Twittersphere for proudly reinforcing old, tired, negative stereotypes about black folks during a girl’s trip to Bethany Beach as she refused to take a swim with Ashley and Katie (the two bi-racial women) and Robyn. In fact, Gizelle constantly recited lists of what black folks don’t do. As if a signifier of one’s blackness is if she or he adheres to a list of do’s and don’ts. Nobody was here for it, and for good reason.
What Gizelle should have said:
“Word on the street is that black folks can’t swim. Something about black folks’ lack of buoyancy in the water, black women don’t wanna get their hair wet and other lies. Instead of stereotyping black folks as people who don’t and can’t swim, let’s question the origin of that stereotype. Maybe it has something to do with fear of the water because many of our African ancestors were either thrown to their deaths overboard slave ships or jumped themselves. Maybe it has something to do with overseers and slave masters instilling fear in our enslaved Africans on plantations about rivers, lakes, and streams when really they were the ones who feared their “property” would use bodies of water as a means to escape slavery. Or maybe it has something to do with Jim Crow laws that not long ago prohibited African Americans from swimming in public pools. Despite our embattled history with water and the word on the street, this woman is about to go for a swim.”
Number 3: “…I believe that just like I believe you don’t have any white ancestors… You don’t come straight outta Africa looking like this.”
Omg. This here made me want to throat punch Katie. During every episode of RHOP, The general consensus amongst Black Twitter was that brown skinned, bi-racial Katie wished she was as light skinned and light eyed as Gizelle and Robyn in order to physically prove her bi-racial identity since she clearly believes that certain physical features denote blackness or whiteness. Katie made this crazy azz comment at a birthday party in response to Gizelle and Robyn who witnessed Ashley’s husband (an old rich white man) grab the azz of Katie’s ex-fiancé (another white man who Katie continuously pressured to marry her. Hence, “ex-fiancé”). Gizelle and Robyn reported the incident to Ashley, who didn’t believe the women although that azz grab couldn’t be missed. Robyn asked if azz grabbing was a white guy thing (chuckles). In swoops Katie, the expert on race, who took offense to Robyn’s inquiry. When I tell you Twitter drug, I mean druuuuuuuug Katie for the above quote. Chile. It was epic.
I’m thinking that Katie was fed up with Robyn and Gizelle, and this dumb azz comment was the result of her frustration regarding their constant questions about her racial identity and how black she feels on any given day. Furthermore, Katie and Ashley both felt that Robyn and Gizelle were obsessed with race and felt as though this alleged obsession was somehow strange given Robyn and Gizelle’s physical appearance. There’s so much wrong with Katie and Ashely’s assumptions til I don’t even know where to begin my critique. So, I’ll just jump to what Katie should have said to Robyn.
What Katie should have said, perhaps somewhere other than a 50th birthday party and possibly the same day Robyn asked the “box check” question:
“Robyn, since we’re talking about racial identity, has anyone ever asked you if you’re mixed? I say that because I have a certain image of what black folks and white folks look like, and you don’t look black. You look white. I mean, look at you. You’re light skinned with straight blonde hair. How many black people have light skin and straight blonde hair? Do you have any white ancestors?”
What Robyn should have said to Katie’s hypothetical dumb azz question that isn’t so hypothetical because Katie would actually say something like that:
“Black folks come in all colors, even in Africa. Because black Africans have more genetic variations than anyone else on Earth. Wal-Mart sells hair dye in a box. And Chi makes flat irons.”
Number 4: “Katie, are you black or white today?”
Gizelle’s question for Katie actually wasn’t a bad question. It was just terribly worded. Similar to Robyn’s question regarding Katie’s children, Gizelle’s question for Katie regarded how she identifies herself as a brown skinned bi-racial woman.
What Gizelle should have said:
“Katie, I know you identify yourself as a bi-racial woman. Many people associate race with performance. So, do you ever feel like you have to act a certain way around black people and white people and does how you act change depending on your racial surroundings? Its ridiculous to feel as though you have to act black or act white to be accepted by each respective group, but do you ever feel that way? And given what’s going on with police brutality and the ways in which black people are policed differently than white people, do you think the police would look at you and automatically say ‘that’s a black woman’ because of your skin tone even though you identify yourself as bi-racial?”
And finally, number 5: A smorgasbord of comments about “the ghetto,” how Gizelle should both go back to Baltimore and leave “ghetto behavior” in Baltimore, and something about black folks in Baltimore not being used to fine jewelry.
All of this foolery came from the scratchy throated, cotton ball mouthed, crooked lacefronted Charisse, the most uninteresting character on the entire show. RHOP not only demonstrated that none of the ladies can speak coherently about race without sounding completely uneducated, but this show also highlighted how classist and elitist these women are. That plethora of foolish comments Charisse made about Baltimore were so disheartening because she drew a clear line between herself and black folks in Baltimore. She made it clear that blacks in Baltimore are beneath her. Based on her comments, its safe to say that we shouldn’t look forward to Charisse’s participation in any Freddie Gray rallies or anything regarding the plight of black folks in Baltimore. Or maybe she’ll be the one walking around looking like Uncle Ruckus or Clayton Bigsby. You decide.
What Charisse should have said:
Nothing. Because she tried to correct Ashely and referred to “moot point” as “mute point,” she thought calling Gizelle a pedigree was an insult because she clearly doesn’t know what pedigree means, and she tried to sass Andy Cohen and Karen on the reunion when she incorrectly defined a narcissist as a person who finds satisfaction in destroying the lives of others. Ok, lady.
I’m not sure what Real Housewives of Potomac wanted to accomplish regarding the issue of racial identity. Maybe its supposed to be some type of response to last year’s Rachel Dolezal fiasco. What the show did accomplish was a weekly lesson in how not to discuss race, racism, and race relations. Race in America is too much of a heavy and important topic to trivialize week after week, especially amongst a group of black folks. With all that’s going on regarding mass incarceration and the over policing of black communities, intentionally polluted water and air in black communities, voter restriction laws, and poorly funded public schools, you would think a group of self-professed critical race theorists/prominent black women would use their national platform and their coins to critically raise awareness about issues most pressing to black communities.
However, I realize that many of these alternative responses and questions are probably incomprehensible to some of these allegedly affluent housewives who seem to only care about proper etiquette when proper etiquette ain’t saved the life of not nam black person I know.
Bellus Mantis 